Rotten [Shibui, Kyer]

It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it, she mused as her paws brought her in a meandering path through Pheasant Woods. Her power, and the walls themselves, had given her something she thought she would never have in the tribes; a purpose. Something she could use to prove herself, and a way to (literally) give all her energy in helping to protect her new home. And though they were now 'untouchable', thanks to a gift - or curse - given to the green-lights, they would stand for generations as something she had put her blood and sweat into. Which was, she thought, more than enough compensation.

A lightness in the trees ahead caught her attention, and her ears flicked forwards. Was she so close to Cat's Eye lake already? But as she approached, she found herself  stepping instead into what looked to be a small meadow. It couldn't have been more than a quarter the size of the Light Tribe camp, but what really seized her attention was not the size of the clearing. It was the tiny yellow flower bud pushing up just in front of her paws. A crocus, she noted as she crouched to inspect it. And then, jerking upright- There. Another, this one a pure white. Their thin leaves blended in with the grass, but the buds were bright against the dull ground. A meadow of flowers. Almost without thinking, she opened her mouth. "Flower?" She called, shaken by the way her voice quakes into high notes of desperation. "Flower? Are you here? It's me, it's Storm!"

He really shouldn't run so much. Every time it seemed there was a sort-of problem though, his legs just seemed to carry him somewhere else. Annoyance at being placed in a tribe with no family? Run. Everyone in his family hates his tribe? Run. Kyrian’s death? He ran. Konane’s? Same. Finding out that his father had left the tribes had sent him running until his legs could no longer move, and then some. Finding out his mother had taken another mate had much the same effect, only that time, he’d had a friend to run with him- or, rather, she’d stopped him from running. When his mother had died, he’d been seeing with anger, and only his lack of knowledge beyond the current territories had kept him form trying to run through the old ones. Every time in between, too, he’d enjoyed running. It was a good way for the dark tom to let off steam, too. 

Now, though, that wasn’t why he ran. Now, Kyer ran with glee in his step because the battle was finally over. He ran with anger because he was not able to avenge the harm that the caimans had done to his best friend. He ran because he’d ruined his friendship with his closest friend in his own tribe, or at least that was what it seemed like now. He ran to forget. And, like always, he ran to remember. Without thought, his paws pumped him forwards, picking random directions and heading in them. He had no care as to where he ended up, if it were in some tribe’s territory, he’d merely say he was visiting someone. If it were Water-Tribe, he’d be visiting Kamili. If it were Fire, he’d visit Arcis. Air, Ascella. Light, his youngest siblings. Earth, well, the silver-earth was his step-father, after all. 

Finally, sides heaving and paws aching, the soon-to-be adult slowed, his steps stumbling slightly as he did so. Where was he? The world was spotting in and out, his breath coming sharply. He shouldn’t have run for so long, he needed to catch his breath. Deep breaths. What do you smell? What do you see? What do you hear? Looking around, he slowly let the world spin back into the almost-focus it retained. Flowers. Flowers? But- this wasn’t Flower Fields, he didn’t think. It didn’t smell of water-tribe, at least. He hadn’t been running for that long, anyways- or had he? Perhaps he’d made laps around the territory again. There. A voice. Flicking back his ears, the adolescent shook himself. He knew that voice. ”Hello?”

For a dazzling split second Shi thought that the footfalls she was hearing belonged to the cat she had called for. That the sound of labored breathing came because she had run to the sound of her own name. Heart beating fast, soaring with the rush of euphoria that set the world on it's side, she spun, mouth opening on the name again-

But it died on her tongue, falling flat into reality. A hopeful question met with stunning disappointment. "Flower...?" And then she felt ridiculous, because of course it couldn't be her, how could Shi possibly have thought that the pinkorange-Fire (orange-Fire now?) would appear just because someone, somewhere, had said her name. Not even her name, but a word she associated herself by. Stinging, she brought her eyes to focus on who instead had come to her voice. Dark fur, a snarling tattoo, a voice and a visage she knew too well. Her stomach felt as though it had plummeted straight through the ground. "Ah..." A million humiliating scenarios ran through her head as she realized it was him, of all cats, who had caught her crying out like a lost kit in the middle of the forest. Stupid! She should have known better than to show weakness. Every time she did, it seemed this cat was here to mock her, to bring out her flaws. As if she didn't already know them well enough. 

Feeling her ears and cheeks flame, she turned away again. She should say something, make some excuse, or explain, but no words came to her. All she could manage was a flat, "You." A statement of the obvious. One that revealed exactly how much she didn't want to see him. Embarrassing in itself, but there was nothing to be done about it now but accept the inevitable exchange to come, and brace for it. 

Flower? She was calling for a Flower? There was only one cat- okay, no that was a lie, he  knew one of the Shadow-Tribers went by Flower as well, despite having a much less… floral spirit name, but for some reason, he didn’t think that that particular green-shadow was the one who would be heralded like this. Or, perhaps, the orange-earth was just calling out to all the flowers. Snorting at the thought, he turned to the pointed feline and flicked his ear in annoyance he was pretty sure she returned. 

He didn’t trust her. Not at all, much less than the majority of the tribe cats. He couldn’t help it, though trust had not been given at their only previous meeting, she’d already broken whatever fragment of it might have blossomed. Eyes narrowing to bring her form into more focus, the blue-green shadow twitched his tail. ”Me.” He responded, a small laugh bubbling up out of him. ”Sorry I’m no flower.” He smirked, and promptly plopped down into the middle of the field and began gnaw at the spaces between his paw pads, licking them dry to prevent any form of sickness from seeping up through them. Summer was on it’s way, but he knew that while the chill still kept it’s grip in the air, being too cold could make him sick, and he most certainly did not want that. 

”What brings you do this place? I never thought flowers would be your type of thing.” Kyer mewed after a few moments of silence. He didn’t think anything would be her thing, and in all honesty, he didn’t quite care, but curiosity tugged at the corner of his mind, and he hated to leave it unsatisfied.

 

His laugh grated along the orange-Earth's spine, bristling her fur and raising her hackles instinctively. He was laughing at her, there was no doubt in her mind, and it angered her that she was so distressed by it. Schooling her face into what she hoped could at least pass for 'expressionless', if not 'indifferent', she fixed her gaze on a pair of twin yellow buds by her paw. "I can see that," she meowed. The soft rustle and crunch of grass told of his movements to her flicking ears. "I mistook you for someone else." She didn't look up though, keeping her eyes trained on the ground and silently willing him to leave. It wasn't as if she was particularly fond of being alone, or wanted to be at that moment, but the blue green-Shadow's presence was making her jumpy. She didn't much like him, and he always seemed to make her uncomfortable just by being nearby.

Alas, it seemed he had no intention of leaving her in peace. Her ears twitched at his question, and she dug her claws unconsciously into the dirt. So he was nosing into her business now? What right did he think he had, especially after so blatantly ignoring her attempts at explanation before? Did he even really care? She doubted it. Just another question to nag her with, no doubt, an excuse to get on her nerves. "Nothing," she replied shortly. "And I could say the same to you. Earth was given as my domain, but aren't shadows your plaything? I wouldn't expect to find you cavorting among the crocuses." The snide words came easier to her now, moons of practice with communicating, and a buildup of frustration just waiting for a target for her to release it on. She might have cared what he thought of her before, when she was still new and still proving herself, but not now. He was younger (she had been right about that) and obviously had much less experience with the world. She had nothing to prove to him. And she might have said as much, if it hadn't been for the lingering apprehension she felt at mouthing off to another cat, infuriatingly ignorant as they might be. 

There was something under his claw- had he stepped on a pebble? Pressing it closer to his mouth, the blue-green shadow chewed at the unknown object embedded in his hind paw until it came free, and finally spat it out onto the ground, relieved to be rid of the little nuisance. Continuing the quick grooming of his paws- he needed to make sure the white toes were at least white, the rest didn’t matter much to him, he wasn’t going to see Kamili today, he didn’t think, and Artemis disliked him enough right now, he saw no reason to take the time to groom the rest of his scruffy fur. Instead, he stretched out and let a smirk. ”Expecting someone? Sorry to disappoint.” His snide mew was coupled with a shift in position. Now, Kyer sat back on his haunches, gently batting at a pale purple flower that was beginning to spring up from the ground right in front of his paws. ”A Flower, I surmise, seeing as you seemed so intent on calling out that name.” Smirking again, he continued. ”I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, Orange-Earth, but flowers can’t answer you.”

Konane would not be proud. A voice in the back of his head meowed. Konane isn’t here. Another one responded. Kyer couldn’t decide which one he liked least- both were bearers of bad news. Konane couldn’t stop him from doing anything anymore, not really. She was dead. She’d been dead for seasons now, he couldn’t live by her expectations, no matter how good her morals had been. He’d grown, she never would, and that was the painful truth, part of what had changed him, though not in the way he’d expected.  Shaking his head at the pointed feline, the dark tom let out a small chortle. ”Oh, please.” He retorted, staring at the ground around him. ”Are you too thick to know that everything casts a shadow?” He could see several around him right now- not only those that the two cats were casting, but those of each flower, each petal. While perhaps not entirely cloaked in shadows, Kyer didn’t feel entirely out of his element, either.

Finally giving in and looking over at the Shadow-triber, she noted unhappily that he seemed to be making himself quite comfortable here. She turned her head in distaste as he lifted a hind leg and began gnawing at something between his pads. The gesture, to her, seemed extremely rude. It was one thing to groom in the presence of your tribe, of cats you trusted with that small show of vulnerability, but this tom clearly felt no such trust towards her. This was a show of contempt. A demonstration of how little he thought of her, that he saw he as neither a threat nor a bother. As nothing at all. Her claws itched to prove him wrong, but she would never dare lay them on another cat. Never again. She had decided that a long time ago, and even in self defense, she would not turn her battle training on anyone. It was not worth the risk. And no one really deserved that, anyway.

Her ears flicked towards him comment, and then back.Shows how much you know, she murmured sourly in her mind. Clearly you have been speaking to all the wrong Flowers. Nickname notwithstanding, she had seen primary power wielders of her tribe call on flowers and vines and have them answer. Either he had forgotten again which tribe she hailed from, or (and she suspected this one,) he simply did not understand how these things worked. A glance around showed her only very weak shadows, cast by filtered and faint sunlight, and she scoffed silently, ignoring his words and counting this a small victory. It made her feel a bit better about the whole thing.  

Instead, she took that small boost of ego and turned it into courage, addressing the issue at paw directly. "I'd certainly love to stay and argue my point," she meowed, before she could lose her courage, "but as you seem to have surmised, I have a Flower to find. One that can answer me, believe it or not. Unless she has suddenly lost her voice." There was a not so subtle hint in that- if he wouldn't leave, then she would. It was no use sitting around arguing with a kit, even if she had wanted to. And, well, maybe the part about looking for her friend hadn't been one hundred percent the truth, but she fully intended to go looking now, since she had said it. She just... Had not been actively seeking her out before. Not that it mattered. She gave a small, dismissive flip of her tail, and turned away again.

The flower between his paws amused the tom, as he pushed it to once side and then the other, focused on it with only one ear flicked towards the she-cat in his presence.  A slow chuckle coughed it’s way up his throat as he crushed the plant under his paws, before looking over at the departing cat. ”A she-cat named flower, Huh?” The tabby rose to his paws and stretched a bit, pulling his muscles taught and blinking lazily. ”I knew one of those. A fire-Triber. Gave her the nickname, actually.” Kyer was taking his time getting to the point, and he was enjoying it. Any cat who’s friends with her is obviously not a cat I want to meet. Even if I was friends with her once. She went crazy and tried to destroy my tribe. Using his claws to rip up a bit of the purple flower, he curled his paw and flung the plant in the direction of the Orange-Earth. ”Now she’s even more dead than this plant, and good riddance, too.”

The fire-triber’s death still burned in the back of the tom’s mind. He hadn’t liked her in a long time, true, and at their very last meeting, she’d accused him of being a killer and untrustworthy, though he’d been somewhat excited to see her at first. It’s amazing how much some cats change. Now, it was hard to believe he’d ever liked her. But…. He’d still known her. And she’d been the silver-fire’s daughter, which made her Maika’s sister, so she was sort-of family. No- no. He may have been Maika’s family, but Flower was never a part of his. Arcis was the only Fire-triber in his family. 

”So unless you’re seeking out some other Flower, Sorry, Orange-Earth, you’re too late.” The blue-shadow sneered, sitting down again and giving one of his hind legs a quick groom. Normally, he wasn’t much for cleanliness; he only usually groomed if there was blood in his fur or the salt spray from the sea caused it to stick up oddly, but now seemed rather appropriate do do so- though the Fire-Triber’s blood hadn’t been on his paws, he could almost imagine it was, right now.

Dead. 

An instant shock, like being thrown into freezing eater, rushing through her veins and twisting her vision. Suddenly, none of the other things he had said mattered. The vertigo gripped her tight, and then released her to stand in place as the warmth slowly seeped from her body. The vision of the crushed and mangled crocus burned into her mind. That. How could he have said... That. So easily, like death didn't matter to him. Like he didn't care. Maybe he didn't. Maybe he meant a real flower. Or another fire-triber with the same nickname. Maybe he was just saying things again, to see how far across the line he could tread before it came back to bite him.

"Don't," she found herself saying, as though in denial she could make it untrue. "Don't joke about that sort of thing." But she was shaking, trembling where she stood, and the words sounded hollow. With the icy numbness that gripped her, nothing seemed real. She couldn't feel her paws. Had no conscious recognition of whether she had stopped breathing. The only thing running through her mind was a montage of snapshots, brief moments from when she had seen Flower, mixed with broken-up phrases of her mind trying to reason out every way in which he was probably lying. Had to be.

But she had been so afraid, since her friend had vanished. No sign of her rusty red pelt, no flash of amethyst eyes. Not even a snatch of her voice at the gathering, along all the other cats with fire tattoos that Shi didn't know. Just... Gone. An emptiness that filled up slowly with fear and thoughts of the worst that could happen. And she had never even dreamed- Hadn't believed- There was just, there was no way Flower could be gone. Dead. Just like that. A trembling paw reacted out and pulled the mangled flower close. "She couldn't possibly be..."

Growing quite serious, the tom watched the orange-earth. Oh. She’d been friends with the cat- Obviously you dolt she was looking for her! He felt a small pang of sympathy for the pointed feline. Kyer knew what it was like to lose cats, and he had lost Flower too. She’d been his friend - once. She’d been a cat he knew. ”I- I’m sorry.” He mewed, forcing the words out of his throat. She deserves it! Does anyone deserve to lose cats they love? Well, Flower deserved it! She was your aunt’s sister! The mental war raged on inside him. 

”I’m not joking. I watched her die. Of course, she shouldn’t have been trespassing in our territory to begin with - she did bring it on herself by attacking one of us! It was a natural reaction.” He wasn’t all that close with the badger-striped tom, Kyer couldn’t actually say he’d spent any time with the cat himself, but he didn’t blame him. He would have lashed out too. ”Such a shame she hated my tribe.” He mewed solemnly. ”Hated, feared. We’re really not all that bad, but she couldn’t get over her prejudice, calling us all evil killing machines without hearts or souls.” Shaking his head sadly, the tom toyed with another flower. ”She couldn’t possibly be? A red-furred fire-triber with speckles and purple eyes. She had a necklace with two red fletchers on it, and white on her nose and stomach.” Why did he remember the cat so clearly? ”She loved flowers. That’s why I gave her that nickname. Flower.” Twitching his nose, the tabby let his claws dig trenches in the ground beneath him. ”Yeah. She’s dead. Saw it happen myself.” Spirits! He’d meant to flaunt the red-furred feline’s death to make this Earth-Triber upset, and now he was growing sad. She wasn’t your friend anymore, Kyer. It’s better that she’s dead, now she can’t hurt your tribe! He felt awful for having to remind himself- and yet, not even that made him feel less sad. She can’t hurt your family now, either.

She felt hollow as he spoke, the words bouncing and echoing around inside her until they became meaningless. An image formed of the orange-Fire, her bright fur, her beautiful eyes, her smile when she spoke so honestly, saying things Shibui had never even thought about herself. And all of that, gone now. She didn't want to believe it, but it wasn't hard to. How long had it been since she had seen Flower? How often had she feared the worst? And here it was, the final verdict. From the mouth of a cat she would no more put her trust in than bait a fox, but still, believable. And it hurt. Spirits, it hurt. All the things she could have said, could have done, could have shared with the beautiful orange-Fire, all of it lost to the tides of fate. Another cat dead. Was it because of her? When it seemed that everyone around her just kept dying, it wasn't hard to think that maybe it was all her fault, her bad luck falling into someone else. Her claws curled into the ground, as though she could hold all the pain inside of her. But it spilled out anyway.

'Brought it on herself...' 

Though it had taken a good several seconds to sink in, the words struck a nerve, making her flinch as though she had been physically wounded. "Don't say that," She whispered, and then swung towards him. "Don't say that! Thats awful! I don't care how much you might disagree with them, or, or what they might have done, no one deserves to die! No one 'has it coming'!" She could feel the tell-tale sting of tears in her eyes again, and bit them back with furious disgust. Would she cry every time they met? How much of a kit was she that the words of this shadow-triber always left her so frustrated, so hurt?  But the thoughts didn't help, and the tears fell all the same. "No one should need to die. There's too much death in this world already." Shred. Splinter. Tiberius. The stillborn kits she never named. Cats that her brother and Firo had known. And even for the ones that had made her life miserable, had nearly brought about her own demise- She still had never wished death on them. "Whatever our faults or mistakes, shouldn't we all get a chance to live? To fix our mistakes and be happy?" She didn't understand Flower's apparent hate for Shadow tribe, she might never. There were a lot of things now that she might never know about the ruby-furred she-cat. There might be worlds of mysteries to horrify her, buried under the earth with the body of her strange friend, locked away in the memories of cats she didn't know. But even then, she would keep to her stance. No one should have to die, not because of her.

Pressing his ears against his head, the dark-furred tom looked away from the earth-triber. As much as he didn’t like her, he didn’t want to watch her grieve. Losing cats is hard for everyone. Shifting his paws awkwardly, Kyer dug his claws deeper into the ground. Can’t she like, run off and grieve? I don’t want to see this. Shaking his head, the tom remembered with a pang those he had lost- so many, already. No. She’s not a cat you like- she left when she was supposed to be looking after Flare and Bon and Zay and Snow and Aunt Maika’s kits! Don’t you go feeling sorry for her. Aunt Maika. Flower had been Aunt Maika’s kit’s aunt, too. ”I wonder how she would have felt about you leaving her sister’s kits unwatched, huh?” He needed to be defensive- if he wasn’t defensive he’d be sad, lost in the memories that swirled because he knew that stance. He’d felt them. Probably a lot stronger than her, too! I lost my family, after all. No. This she-cat would be getting no sympathy from the Shadow-Triber.

There. That was what he could handle from cats he didn’t consider friends. That anger, it made a small grin tug up the corners of his lips, even as his body tensed up, defensive. ”Don’t say what? I’m perfectly allowed to say what I like - and I never said she deserved to die! I said she brought it on herself - She attacked! It wasn’t as if any cat went after her. She brought it on herself.” He rose to his paws this last words, a stern voice he only ever used when he was telling the kits ‘no’ escaping him on his last words. Too much death. Yeah, there really is. ”I don’t disagree with you there. I would never wish any cat dead. Not really.” Flicking his tail again at the memory of his next-to-last encounter with the orange fire, the tabby yet again regretted his words. I didn’t really mean she should throw herself in a volcano. I was just mad. But that was in the past, there was nothing he could do about it now. “Obviously!” He mewed, settling himself down once more. Had he honestly said something so awful? He’d only spoken the truth. ”No cat deserves to die. Especially not young ones- but what does that change? The dead are still dead, we can’t do anything about that! We just pick ourselves up and move on - So Move. On. She’s gone. You will never see her again, not until you join the spirits. Lingering on that won’t do you any good.” That, he knew for a fact.

Her head snapped up, the words hitting a very tender point. "Maybe she would forgive me! Because unlike you, she has the capacity to understand that I can't!" Or maybe this was her punishment, for taking her duties for granted, for taking her place within the tribe for granted, for not trying harder. But- "And what if I hadn't left? What if I had stuck around? What good would that have done?! They'd probably be dead too, and you'd still hate me for it!" She nearly stomped a paw in her overly distraught state, but managed to curb the urge by digging her claws deeply into the earth instead. Her eyes wouldn't stop burning. Did this cat have no remorse, no compassion? What drove him to belittle others, even in lieu of a tragedy such as this? "You say you believe that no one deserves to die, but you still think she brought it on herself?" Her voice was beginning to grow hoarse by now, crackling with emotion and exhaustion. "As if she sought out death, and that makes it okay." She shook her head. No, she shouldn't argue. It would get them nowhere. A part of her wanted to scream, but wasn't she your friend, too? Even knowing it would do nothing, only bring them full circle into blame and accusation. Her first friend, her only friend in the beginning, and here she was bickering instead of mourning. Some friend she was. 

But... He wasn't wrong, at least not with everything he said. She would have to move on eventually. She knew that. Of course she knew that. It just was it as easy as he made it sound, and from the way he spoke it seemed like he was twisting his claws in deeper, rather than trying to comfort her. (As if he would ever do that in the first place.) No, no, He was right. She was pathetic, she deserved no mercy. But didn't Flower deserve to have her death honored, not ridiculed? She listed her head, ears pulled back aggressively, defensively. "What if I told you I loved her? What if I said I wanted to grieve, to spend a little time mourning her death, because I want to remember her?" Stubbornly, she flashed a hint of teeth. "I won't move on. Not yet, at least. She's dead, but she's not gone. As long as I keep my memories of her, she'll never be gone, because I loved her. I will remember her kindness, and let her courage lead me." One last time, she lifted her head, and then turned away from the draw Shadow-triber. "No. I'll forget about you instead. Because you don't matter to me! You're just another voice telling me what I already know, and you'll never let me rest if I keep coming back to the awful things you say! I'll forget about you! So just leave me alone to miss her, please!" And that was that. She hadn't wanted to cry in front of him, again, but this time she couldn't help it. Curling into herself, she let the tears soak into her cheeks, stifling the sound of her sobs into her chest, and shaking. Awful. Awful. He was an awful cat. Just forget about him. But that wasn't at all as easy as she had made it sound, either. 

A choked, sarcastic laugh rumbled it’s way out of Kyer’s throat, his eyes narrowing as he listened to the Orange-Earths words. ”Forgive you? Hah. If she forgave that easily then her forgiveness wouldn’t be worth anything.” Still bristling with eyes narrowed and pupils no wider than slits, the dark tom’s tail lashed angrily. ”Or maybe they wouldn’t have! Maybe you could have saved them if something happened – and then, maybe, I could at least respect you!” Good for nothing she-cat. Another stroke of pity for the Silver-Earth ran through him. I hope he at least has some decent cats in his tribe. Spirits this she-cat was so.. so.. so irritating! So thick, so ignorant!  It was as if the things he’d discovered were so simple just didn’t compute in her brain. Argh! Frustrating, too, that’s what she was. ”No cat does! Every life is precious, even the lives of cats like you.” As much as he disliked the pointed cat, he would never wish her dead. Not seriously. He didn’t think. ”But if you go and attack a tribe, Then yes, you’d have brought it on youself! She wasn’t smart, she wasn’t thinking about it. Obviously, her death is her own fault!”  Like that would make sense to this cat. Storm. Whatever. 

Love? Hah. The words pulled a snort from the tom. ”Loved her? If you’re that willing to love a cat you’ve not known for seasons, then maybe you really are an idiot.” His tail lashed again. ”Its not like she was your family- then greive if you like! Just do it elsewhere I don’t want to hear your pitiful sobs.” They had no place in him. They’d just make him feel the need to be nicer, and he had no want of that.  ”Remember her all you like, but remember her as she really was.” He hissed, her words cutting him for a reason he couldn’t really put a paw on. ”A cat who hated others just because of the tribe they belonged to.  A cat who accused the most innocent of being killers because that fit her own little agenda. She wasn’t perfect, so if you remember her that way you’re only betraying yourself.”  Ugh. She was crying now, too. Scraping the ground one last time and leaving deep gauges in it with his claws, the Blue-Green shadow stomped away, hissing angrily under his breath as he left the Earth-Triber. Forget me? Hah. Good luck with that.